I don’t want to give my child a smartphone but worry he will feel left out if I don’t

My eldest has started secondary school and the pressure to get him a smartphone is growing. I don’t want to give him one, given all the risks of cyberbullying and inappropriate content. Yet, I also worry that I’ll end up isolating him.
Your question is probably the one that most concerns parents as their children progress through school. For a long time, society has felt powerless in the face of advances in technology that are affecting our children. That, hopefully, is changing.
Parents, schools and tech companies all have a role to play in shielding young people from harmful content
The new online safety commissioner has drawn up a legally binding online safety code aimed at reducing harmful content online. It will require social media platforms to take measures to do so; a failure to comply with the code may lead to criminal or civil sanctions.
In addition, Minister for Education Norma Foley has stated explicitly that she wants smartphones banned from schools.
I am certain that the rapidly increased numbers of children presenting with mental health challenges is directly related to having to cope with inappropriate content and unfettered access to the internet. How to stop the tide of inappropriate online content targeting children is an issue governments all over the world are still struggling with.
Parents do have the option of giving children a smartphone or not. If so, they can help ensure they don’t access inappropriate sites by setting up the phone with on-board parental controls activated.
Alternatively, parents who are worried about their children’s whereabouts can purchase a two-way tracker watch costing €5-€15 euro monthly, showing parents where the child is through a GPS tracker. The phones have text and voice/video facilities, but no internet access.
As well as protecting young people, we need to educate them to navigate this uncertain world. Relationships and sexuality education has been updated for junior cycle students, and the new RSE and SPHE curriculum has recently been updated for senior cycle and primary students.
Unfortunately, many teachers are uncomfortable about dealing with issues concerning pornography and the content of inappropriate websites.
Their unions have responded to the announcement of the new subject specifications with statements that no teacher can be obliged to engage with students on these matters without their explicit agreement.
Ultimately, it comes back to parents addressing these sensitive issues at home.
Sometimes parents and children can find such conversations difficult to have face-to-face. Chatting while they are in the back seat of the car while you are driving can make the conversation less stressful.
The key issue is to normalise conversations with children at the earliest possible opportunity about healthy use of our bodies, from family hugs to intimate expression within a loving relationship as an expression of our love and affection for each other.